Okay, so my excuse for not posting last night is that I was tired and PMSing. A lame excuse I know, but it is all I have.
There is lots of good news to update about today. I found out on Saturday that the IPs (intended parents) had a successful follicle extraction and fertilization on Friday. They ended up with 4 healthy embryos and a couple other possibles. The next step is to let them grow to day 3 (today) and see what happens. The news today is they actually have 3 great embryos, one fair and one poor. The plan is to let them all grow to day 5 and then see what looks the best for the transfer. So, crossing our fingers for Wednesday. I would like all 5 to be great because we will need two for the transfer and it would be nice if they can save the other 3 for any future needs. I am so positive and optimistic that things will happen with the first transfer. I know I can't make promises and shouldn't get hopes up, but it just seems that it will happen and that thought feel so right inside me, it is hard to imagine it would be any other way.
The original transfer day for early August has been put off to the end of the month or early September because the family needed to get some additional insurance in place to help with the costs. I was disappointed at first but feel it was for a good reason. I think there are other forces at work out there that knew June and July have not been the most successful months. August and Sept will be fresh and new, with baby-making happening all over the place. :)
The other good news is that the period is close. The app on my phone says it won't start until August 7th but I was cramping on Saturday, devouring every carb within a 50 mile radius yesterday, and I had some light spotting this morning. (Of course that happened on the day I dared to wear white.) Last month I had spotting for two days and then had a heavy period. I am hoping this month is the same. I spoke with the fertility clinic and they gave me the go-ahead to start the estrogen patches as soon as the period is a normal flow. And that will be day 1. Then we can schedule the transfer and know when everything is going to happen. It is getting so close!!
And now I better get back to reviewing the contract (yes, the first draft is done!). It is long and going to require a lot of focus.
P.S. I am now caffeine free. The gradual withdrawal took a while but it has been 4 days since my last drink. I am tired but it feels good to not have caffeine in my system. I am now having a wonderful love affair with water and Crystal Lite. ;) I am also taking the prenatal and daily dose of aspirin so I will have the full 30 days they recommend before the transfer. I got this in the bag!
Monday, July 30, 2012
The post I didn't get a chance to do on July 22nd- my view on Family.
I have an excellent reason for missing my post on July 22nd. My parents came into town for a visit and I was having such a great time spending time with them and didn't feel like posting anything. But the visit gave me a ton to think about and has led to my topic for this week. Family. The older I get, the more I seem to appreciate mine. I had a chance to talk with my mom about the good ole days and some memories from my childhood. I can't remember everything but I do remember quite a bit; both positive and negative. And when I look back on these memories, I don't regret any of them or wish I could go back and change anything. I think I am who I am because of everything I experienced and went through in my childhood. And I like to think I turned out pretty darn good. :)
The visit went well. I am realizing my parents are getting older and are not quite as fast and durable as they used to be. We did some fun things but also spent some time just hanging out and talking. I enjoy seeing them and it never seems to happen often enough. It would be nice to be able to move back to Wisconsin and be around all my family all the time, but that miracle will have to wait for the future. It was sad when they left but I didn't cry this time. The visit was so positive and great, that I was still on a natural high when they left and didn't feel like crying. That may change when the hormones start pumping again in a few weeks.
The best part about the visit was being able to talk with my mom about this journey, face to face. I have sensed she has been hesitant and unsure about what everything means. We have had several long conversations over the phone but they are not the same as talking in person and seeing the person's expressions and body language. I was able to get a better sense of what my mom is thinking about this and feel relieved that she seems on board and curious about everything. I think she is nervous to ask questions because she doesn't want to pry but I am pretty open with almost everyone about what is happening and my thoughts. I am hoping she realizes this as time goes on and feels more comfortable with asking what ever her heart needs to know. I do feel like I have her blessing now. That may seem weird but I will admit that I am 35 years old and still care what my mother thinks about me and the choices in my life. She did tell me several times that she is proud of me and the mother I am to my child. It felt so good to hear those words because I know she doesn't use them lightly. I still feel like I am on cloud 9 to hear my mom say she is proud of me. She should feel proud also because she helped make me into the person I am today.
I also got brave in the past week and told a couple more family members about my plans. They were very accepting and not at all judgemental. It was a relief to be able to tell them and not feel they were judging or critical about it. I love that my family has been raised to be supportive and accepting of a variety of things. It may go back to those dinner table conversations about topics I am sure my mother does not want me to post about. (i.e. hermaphrodites).
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about family and what it means to me. I think it is best described as a group of people who are thrown together through the most random process and forced to learn how to live together. But unlike roommates or living abroad, family means you can't just move out or move on to something else if things get tough or boring. You are 'forced' to work through things and keep making it work. It also means you enjoy each other and the time you have because you never know how much time you will get. I know that my family went through so much of this, especially because my parents wanted to populate the earth on their own (7 kids!) but we still all love and support each other despite the hard times. I know that I cherish every memory I have of my childhod and can still find positives about all my siblings, even when the things they do in life annoy me. I think I am lucky to have the family that I got and hope they know that. Our dysfunction is our function! (Mom- That should be the theme for the family reunion next year.)
I feel good about undergoing this process because it means that I am helping to create a family that might otherwise not have that chance. My good friend (who is also a surro) pointed out that being a surro provides a set of parents with a child, but it also provides a grandchild, a niece/nephew, a cousin, a sibling, a future mate for another person. When I thought about that, it really hit home how huge this whole thing is. And it also felt so right. It seems that things seem more real and perfect as time goes on and I am not nervous or hesitant at all. Everything is pointing toward this happening and needing to happen. This is my current calling in life; to help create a family.
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. I had my 35th birthday on the 18th. I like to remind people I am now half way to 70 (lol) but I actually feel really good physically and emotionally. I accept who I am and like who I am. I am comfortable with my life. I think this means I have officially (finally) grown up.
The rest is just the usual waiting game. Waiting for paperwork to get done, waiting for the contract, waiting for the period to show up, waiting for the bbay peanuts to be ready, etc. Hopefully I will have positive updates for the next post. Stay tuned.....
The visit went well. I am realizing my parents are getting older and are not quite as fast and durable as they used to be. We did some fun things but also spent some time just hanging out and talking. I enjoy seeing them and it never seems to happen often enough. It would be nice to be able to move back to Wisconsin and be around all my family all the time, but that miracle will have to wait for the future. It was sad when they left but I didn't cry this time. The visit was so positive and great, that I was still on a natural high when they left and didn't feel like crying. That may change when the hormones start pumping again in a few weeks.
The best part about the visit was being able to talk with my mom about this journey, face to face. I have sensed she has been hesitant and unsure about what everything means. We have had several long conversations over the phone but they are not the same as talking in person and seeing the person's expressions and body language. I was able to get a better sense of what my mom is thinking about this and feel relieved that she seems on board and curious about everything. I think she is nervous to ask questions because she doesn't want to pry but I am pretty open with almost everyone about what is happening and my thoughts. I am hoping she realizes this as time goes on and feels more comfortable with asking what ever her heart needs to know. I do feel like I have her blessing now. That may seem weird but I will admit that I am 35 years old and still care what my mother thinks about me and the choices in my life. She did tell me several times that she is proud of me and the mother I am to my child. It felt so good to hear those words because I know she doesn't use them lightly. I still feel like I am on cloud 9 to hear my mom say she is proud of me. She should feel proud also because she helped make me into the person I am today.
I also got brave in the past week and told a couple more family members about my plans. They were very accepting and not at all judgemental. It was a relief to be able to tell them and not feel they were judging or critical about it. I love that my family has been raised to be supportive and accepting of a variety of things. It may go back to those dinner table conversations about topics I am sure my mother does not want me to post about. (i.e. hermaphrodites).
Anyway, I have been thinking a lot about family and what it means to me. I think it is best described as a group of people who are thrown together through the most random process and forced to learn how to live together. But unlike roommates or living abroad, family means you can't just move out or move on to something else if things get tough or boring. You are 'forced' to work through things and keep making it work. It also means you enjoy each other and the time you have because you never know how much time you will get. I know that my family went through so much of this, especially because my parents wanted to populate the earth on their own (7 kids!) but we still all love and support each other despite the hard times. I know that I cherish every memory I have of my childhod and can still find positives about all my siblings, even when the things they do in life annoy me. I think I am lucky to have the family that I got and hope they know that. Our dysfunction is our function! (Mom- That should be the theme for the family reunion next year.)
I feel good about undergoing this process because it means that I am helping to create a family that might otherwise not have that chance. My good friend (who is also a surro) pointed out that being a surro provides a set of parents with a child, but it also provides a grandchild, a niece/nephew, a cousin, a sibling, a future mate for another person. When I thought about that, it really hit home how huge this whole thing is. And it also felt so right. It seems that things seem more real and perfect as time goes on and I am not nervous or hesitant at all. Everything is pointing toward this happening and needing to happen. This is my current calling in life; to help create a family.
The rest of the week was fairly uneventful. I had my 35th birthday on the 18th. I like to remind people I am now half way to 70 (lol) but I actually feel really good physically and emotionally. I accept who I am and like who I am. I am comfortable with my life. I think this means I have officially (finally) grown up.
The rest is just the usual waiting game. Waiting for paperwork to get done, waiting for the contract, waiting for the period to show up, waiting for the bbay peanuts to be ready, etc. Hopefully I will have positive updates for the next post. Stay tuned.....
Sunday, July 15, 2012
And Old Faithful is dormant for another 28 days
Finally, finally, finally my period has stopped. It was 6 long days of non-stop, heavy, icky-ness. And then it suddenly just stopped, like an invisible cork was put into place. I was starting to worry that I would have to become a vampire and try to replace some of the blood I lost. (Ew.)
The good news is my period diary app on my phone says I should start my next period on August 7th. That means I could be ready for the transfer toward the end of August. That makes me very, very excited!!!! You can't see it but I am doing my happy dance right now. :)
The past week was so busy at work and home. It seemed every day was chock full of stuff to get done, and the next day started and went the same way. I got a lot accomplished but I know that this week will be much the same. I am hoping that getting caught up at work will relieve some stress and inspire me to get some projects finished at home. I have all these great ideas and don't want to give up on any of them.
Even though my body has detoxed from the estrogen, I seem to have developed a permanent nesting attitude. I am still cleaning, organizing, de-junking and decorating like crazy. My new goal is to get my bedroom transformed into my oasis of calm. I am preparing for being pregnant and being able to go into my bedroom to relax when I am tired, overwhelmed, etc. I have decorated every other room in my house already and my bedroom was put off til last. I can't afford to buy all new furniture so my goal has been to buy it piece by piece, paint and reuse anything I can. I am painting my nightstands a glossy white and bought a new modern-line white dresser at IKEA yesterday (love that store!). Now I just need to put the dresser together, move over the stuff from the old one, get the old dresser out, and finish the nightstands. Then I will save my pennies and buy the bedframe I want when I have the money. Then I will feel my bedroom is more coordinated and polished. I also bought a body pillow today. I had one when I was pregnant with my son and know I will need one for this pregnancy. I decided to get it early so I can enjoy it that much longer.
We had a Utah surro meeting this morning. Our director came down from Idaho to see us and catch up. I think she is such an amazing person and I am so grateful for her support. One of the other surros talked about another agency that has 250+ surros and sometimes there are complaints about being overlooked or just being a number. I am very satisfied that I did some research and chose an agency that is smaller and wants to keep that personal touch. It makes me feel like the director knows who I am and values me. I also know she will look out for me and make sure my experience is as great as it is. I also had a chance to talk with other surros who are matched and undergoing transfers or are about to. I already knew that surros and families need to be matched well to make it work, but I gained a greater appreciation for the family I am matched with. Other surros were having a hard time communicating with their families or feeling a little lost. I can communicate with my IPs about anything and everything. I think it makes it easier on me and them that we can talk and keep each other updated about everything going on. I am very, very, very happy with my IPs and can't wait to get this journey going!
I am not sure how much I should post about the process. I know that not everyone reading this blog knows about the process so I will try to explain as best I can. Basically, so far I did what is called the "mock cycle". This allows the fertility clinic to see how my body will respond to the estrogen, that causes the uterine lining to get all thick and spongy. Thick and spongy is good because then it gives a wonderful cushion to put the fertilized embryos into. My "mock cycle" was a success and also the reason for the geyser of a period. The next step for me is to get the "calendar" from the fertility clinic, which schedules when the transfer will be and when to start the real meds. I will be back on the estrogen patches but will also have to do shots both before and after the transfer. The progesterone shots will go into the fatty part of my butt and I have heard they are painful and leave lovely lumps and bruises. I may turn into a human dot-to-dot. The other shots are gut shots and not painful at all. I am not a lover of needles but I figure I can grin and bear it for the 9 weeks. As long as the pregnancy happens, I am game for anything. While I wait for my calendar, the IM (intended mom) is doing her own meds and shots to get her ovaries ready for follicle extraction. She is planning to use her own eggs. The IF (intended father) is also providing his sample so they can fertilize the eggs and create the embryos when the time is right. Once the embryos are ready, they will be frozen and kept until we are ready for the transfer. Then the viable embryos will be thawed and inserted on the same day. (Turkey-baster time according to my friends.) I am learning a ton about how complicated it can get to do a pregnancy. Some IPs are not able to use their own DNA and have to buy embryos, eggs or sperm to make it happen.
I have gained a new appreciation for this process and how important being able to have a child is. It makes me love and appreciate mine more and more everyday. Plus, he is the world's greatest and cutest kid. <3
The good news is my period diary app on my phone says I should start my next period on August 7th. That means I could be ready for the transfer toward the end of August. That makes me very, very excited!!!! You can't see it but I am doing my happy dance right now. :)
The past week was so busy at work and home. It seemed every day was chock full of stuff to get done, and the next day started and went the same way. I got a lot accomplished but I know that this week will be much the same. I am hoping that getting caught up at work will relieve some stress and inspire me to get some projects finished at home. I have all these great ideas and don't want to give up on any of them.
Even though my body has detoxed from the estrogen, I seem to have developed a permanent nesting attitude. I am still cleaning, organizing, de-junking and decorating like crazy. My new goal is to get my bedroom transformed into my oasis of calm. I am preparing for being pregnant and being able to go into my bedroom to relax when I am tired, overwhelmed, etc. I have decorated every other room in my house already and my bedroom was put off til last. I can't afford to buy all new furniture so my goal has been to buy it piece by piece, paint and reuse anything I can. I am painting my nightstands a glossy white and bought a new modern-line white dresser at IKEA yesterday (love that store!). Now I just need to put the dresser together, move over the stuff from the old one, get the old dresser out, and finish the nightstands. Then I will save my pennies and buy the bedframe I want when I have the money. Then I will feel my bedroom is more coordinated and polished. I also bought a body pillow today. I had one when I was pregnant with my son and know I will need one for this pregnancy. I decided to get it early so I can enjoy it that much longer.
We had a Utah surro meeting this morning. Our director came down from Idaho to see us and catch up. I think she is such an amazing person and I am so grateful for her support. One of the other surros talked about another agency that has 250+ surros and sometimes there are complaints about being overlooked or just being a number. I am very satisfied that I did some research and chose an agency that is smaller and wants to keep that personal touch. It makes me feel like the director knows who I am and values me. I also know she will look out for me and make sure my experience is as great as it is. I also had a chance to talk with other surros who are matched and undergoing transfers or are about to. I already knew that surros and families need to be matched well to make it work, but I gained a greater appreciation for the family I am matched with. Other surros were having a hard time communicating with their families or feeling a little lost. I can communicate with my IPs about anything and everything. I think it makes it easier on me and them that we can talk and keep each other updated about everything going on. I am very, very, very happy with my IPs and can't wait to get this journey going!
I am not sure how much I should post about the process. I know that not everyone reading this blog knows about the process so I will try to explain as best I can. Basically, so far I did what is called the "mock cycle". This allows the fertility clinic to see how my body will respond to the estrogen, that causes the uterine lining to get all thick and spongy. Thick and spongy is good because then it gives a wonderful cushion to put the fertilized embryos into. My "mock cycle" was a success and also the reason for the geyser of a period. The next step for me is to get the "calendar" from the fertility clinic, which schedules when the transfer will be and when to start the real meds. I will be back on the estrogen patches but will also have to do shots both before and after the transfer. The progesterone shots will go into the fatty part of my butt and I have heard they are painful and leave lovely lumps and bruises. I may turn into a human dot-to-dot. The other shots are gut shots and not painful at all. I am not a lover of needles but I figure I can grin and bear it for the 9 weeks. As long as the pregnancy happens, I am game for anything. While I wait for my calendar, the IM (intended mom) is doing her own meds and shots to get her ovaries ready for follicle extraction. She is planning to use her own eggs. The IF (intended father) is also providing his sample so they can fertilize the eggs and create the embryos when the time is right. Once the embryos are ready, they will be frozen and kept until we are ready for the transfer. Then the viable embryos will be thawed and inserted on the same day. (Turkey-baster time according to my friends.) I am learning a ton about how complicated it can get to do a pregnancy. Some IPs are not able to use their own DNA and have to buy embryos, eggs or sperm to make it happen.
I have gained a new appreciation for this process and how important being able to have a child is. It makes me love and appreciate mine more and more everyday. Plus, he is the world's greatest and cutest kid. <3
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
Old Faithful has erupted...and the waiting begins again.
So, I have anxiously been awaiting the usually dreaded period. Because it means Day 1 and go time. I started having some spotting last Thursday. It was really light and I think it is the only time in my life I was trying to convince my girlie parts to put out some more so I could call the clinic and start the cycle. Needless to say, my girlie parts would not listen and follow directions. I called the clinic anyway (always err on the side of caution) and they told me to wait for a "good flow" day. Ew. So I waited and waited and waited. I have never actually wanted my period before so this was a very confusing and stressful time.
And then it happened yesterday morning. And boy, did it happen. The clinic wasn't kidding when they said it would be a heavy period. I am at the point of just shoving an elephant sized piece of cotton or an entire towel in there. Wowsers! Old Faithful has erupted and I am now praying for it to stop. lol
Enough grossness- so I called and told the clinic I had started. I put a box of patches in my purse and was all ready for the call back to get started. And then some little issues came up that need to be taken care of before this can proceed. So it looks like the transfer is getting pushed back to the end of August, early September. The waiting game begins again. I was disappointed at first because everything seemed to be working out so perfectly and I was all excited to do the transfer the first part of August. But the more I thought about it, the more I worried that it was all working out too perfectly. That made me worry that maybe I was trying to rush something that needs a bit more time. I believe the universe has a balance and my time is a few weeks more. So now I am totally okay with waiting. It also gives my body a chance to recover and maybe I can lose a few more of these "mock cycle" pounds that I gained. It has also been unbearibly hot here so it means my body doesn't have to go through meds until the weather cools a bit. Definitely a blessing in disguise.
I have started looking around on the internet for other blogs about this kind of stuff. Some people out there are very odd and doing it for all the wrong reasons. They like the money or feel like they are God. Those thoughts are scary and give this amazing experience a bad name. There are so many reasons for anyone to consider doing this, and they should hold onto those positive and fulfilling feelings instead. That is what I have been doing and it has really given me a great purpose. I am thankful to be doing this to help someone else and also to fill some needed gaps within me. The best part is I have met some amazing people and can't wait to add to that list. My experience thus far has been so pleasant and I don't have anything negative to report. :)
And then it happened yesterday morning. And boy, did it happen. The clinic wasn't kidding when they said it would be a heavy period. I am at the point of just shoving an elephant sized piece of cotton or an entire towel in there. Wowsers! Old Faithful has erupted and I am now praying for it to stop. lol
Enough grossness- so I called and told the clinic I had started. I put a box of patches in my purse and was all ready for the call back to get started. And then some little issues came up that need to be taken care of before this can proceed. So it looks like the transfer is getting pushed back to the end of August, early September. The waiting game begins again. I was disappointed at first because everything seemed to be working out so perfectly and I was all excited to do the transfer the first part of August. But the more I thought about it, the more I worried that it was all working out too perfectly. That made me worry that maybe I was trying to rush something that needs a bit more time. I believe the universe has a balance and my time is a few weeks more. So now I am totally okay with waiting. It also gives my body a chance to recover and maybe I can lose a few more of these "mock cycle" pounds that I gained. It has also been unbearibly hot here so it means my body doesn't have to go through meds until the weather cools a bit. Definitely a blessing in disguise.
I have started looking around on the internet for other blogs about this kind of stuff. Some people out there are very odd and doing it for all the wrong reasons. They like the money or feel like they are God. Those thoughts are scary and give this amazing experience a bad name. There are so many reasons for anyone to consider doing this, and they should hold onto those positive and fulfilling feelings instead. That is what I have been doing and it has really given me a great purpose. I am thankful to be doing this to help someone else and also to fill some needed gaps within me. The best part is I have met some amazing people and can't wait to add to that list. My experience thus far has been so pleasant and I don't have anything negative to report. :)
Friday, July 6, 2012
Cali trip!
Sorry, sorry, sorry. Now that a few of you are reading this, I am being admonished for not updating. Sorry!
The trip to Cali was amazing! Amazing! The flights out were long and bumpy so I was relieved to finally get there. The Mom met me at the airport. She described our meeting as kinda like a blind date and I have to agree with that analogy. I was so nervous and not sure what to expect. She put all my fears to rest because she was so warm and receptive. She jumped out of the car and gave me a big hug. It felt right, like I have known her for years and we were just catching up from the last time we saw each other. It was a relief to feel that connection with her because we are going to go through so much together. We both jumped in the car and headed toward a cute cafe on the beach to have some lunch and a talk. I should probably comment on the traffic and driving: scary. Worse than considering having a baby for strangers. lol
The cafe by the beach was so picturesque and the view was amazing. I would seriously consider moving to Cali just to have that view every day. And I loved that everyone walked around in swimsuits, regardless of whether they have the body for it or not. My kind of place.
The Mom and I had a chance to talk while we ate. There were lots of things to talk about, things that are hard to talk about on the phone. It was really nice to get to know her better and hopefully she got to ask the questions of me that have been weighing on her mind. We made a really good connection and it seems like this is just meant to happen. We had such a great time talking that we had to rush over to the fertility clinic for the appointment. We made it only 3 minutes late. Whew!
The appointment was strange. There really is no other word for it. The doc took me into his office for a private talk. I think he wanted to make sure that I am doing this of my own free will and not being forced into it. I must have put his fears to rest because we proceeded on.
[I was thinking about why this talk had to happen, and it finally dawned on me that I am ready to do this but others are skeptical. It is not something that someone just decides one day to do. It takes months (even years) of thinking and preparing for it. I am ready but am figuring out that others are not quite ready and need some time to figure it out. I do realize that it is strange and just not normal, but I have always been strange and not quite normal. And I know my okayness with it and my reasons for doing it, so the idea just doesn't phase me anymore. I figure they can take all the time they need, cause I am continuing forward regardless.]
I won't go into detail about the exam. But I will give some highlights cause it was funny. :) Imagine wearing the infamous paper sheet and trying to balance on a small chair with your legs high in the air. Then the doc moves the chair back and up, so everything is up in the air on display. I was lucky enough to have a room full of people reassuring me that I was not on display but they sure were staring. A lot. I was uncomfortable so I did my usual thing, cracked a joke. You have to realize that this doc is older and very serious. He is very good at what he does so he doesn't have to have a bedside manner or sense of humor. I had joked with the nurse as I was undressing that I might pee on the doc because they wouldn't allow me to empty my bladder and I really had to go. She giggled (loved her, by the way) and said it has happened before but she hasn't seen it herself. I couldn't really promise that I would do it but I was thinking about it. Anyway, there he is digging around and checking out everything. I am pretty sure he had that ultrasound wand somewhere up by my tonsils at one point. He then made a comment to the other doc in the room (doing her fellowship in fertility specialty) that she had to come see this. Docs should never say that. Cause it made me super curious. I wasn't sure what to say so I asked if they had found my car keys. The nurse and fellow doc were laughing so hard. The doc just gave a little chuckle and asked if I had put keys in there. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, so I said no. He told me he was teasing so I got a kick out of that. He does have a sense of humor.
The rest of the exam went well. He did a very thorough (incredibly thorough!!) check, filled my uterus with some saline to look for any problems and then took the tissue sample. It was uncomfortable but didn't hurt. I was pleasantly surprised. He said everything looked great and wanted me to clean up and meet back in his office.
Here comes the funniest part: so the docs leave and it is just me and the nurse in the room. She has layered huge pads (the kind they put on hospital beds for accidents) all over the floor. It seemed odd at first. But then she starts to lower my chair down. And I have to pee and have a uterus full of saline. So I am kegel'd so hard trying to keep this all in. And I am holding it, and holding it, and then suddenly gravity wins. Whoosh! Liquid everywhere! I was so embarassed but the nurse was so nice about it. Apparently it is normal and she was surprised that I held on to it for so long. I don't do my exercises for nothing! Anway, I ran to the bathroom, cleaned up and hurried to the doc's office.
The doc met with the Mom and I. He said everything was excellent or "excelente" in his native Spanish language. I plan to add that to my uterus resume. She is now described as "lovely, perfect/ideal and excelente". Ta-da!
He said everything was good and we could proceed forward. I will admit I didn't understand everything that he said because he has a thick accent. I like to close my eyes and pretend he is a young Antonion Banderas. After him, we met with our Patient Care Coordinator. She is the one I talk to all the time. She went over some paperwork for me and some info for both the Mom and I about scheduling and doing the frozen cycle. I had to start on some meds to make my period show back up again so I can empty out the uterus and get ready for the real cycle. We are basically waiting for this to happen. In the mean time, the Mom and Dad have to go do their stuff. The Mom has to do some of the same meds as me and then go in for her folicle extraction. The Dad has to go through a sterile "good time". Poor guy. I think he has it the worst out of all of us. The Mom and I went to the pharmacy as we left the clinic and picked up the meds I will need when my new cycle starts. Holy Crap!! Let's just say- I came home with a black grocery bag full of vials, meds, needles, etc. I am starting to worry I will have to pick up a Surrogacy for Dummies book to help me figure out how to use them all.
After the visit, we traveled back through Cali traffic (scary!!) and met the Dad for a quick dinner. I was nervous to meet him as well but already felt so reassured that the Mom and I were getting along so well. He was also so warm and accepting. He gave me a big hug and then the Mom and I caught him up on the doctor visit. I got to talk with him for a bit and then it was time to rush to the airport.
The trip back was eventful and I traveled on planes that resembled and were the size of matchbox cars. I did get a great view of the sunset over the ocean and LA at night. I tried to take pics but wasn't supposed to have my phone on. Oops! Maybe next time. I finally got home around 2 am, walked in the door, and fell into bed. It was a long but amazing day!
We are hoping the transfer takes places in early August. It seems best for everyone so I am hoping my body is ready. (Hurry up body!).
More to come! Love you family and friends and new friends!
The trip to Cali was amazing! Amazing! The flights out were long and bumpy so I was relieved to finally get there. The Mom met me at the airport. She described our meeting as kinda like a blind date and I have to agree with that analogy. I was so nervous and not sure what to expect. She put all my fears to rest because she was so warm and receptive. She jumped out of the car and gave me a big hug. It felt right, like I have known her for years and we were just catching up from the last time we saw each other. It was a relief to feel that connection with her because we are going to go through so much together. We both jumped in the car and headed toward a cute cafe on the beach to have some lunch and a talk. I should probably comment on the traffic and driving: scary. Worse than considering having a baby for strangers. lol
The cafe by the beach was so picturesque and the view was amazing. I would seriously consider moving to Cali just to have that view every day. And I loved that everyone walked around in swimsuits, regardless of whether they have the body for it or not. My kind of place.
The Mom and I had a chance to talk while we ate. There were lots of things to talk about, things that are hard to talk about on the phone. It was really nice to get to know her better and hopefully she got to ask the questions of me that have been weighing on her mind. We made a really good connection and it seems like this is just meant to happen. We had such a great time talking that we had to rush over to the fertility clinic for the appointment. We made it only 3 minutes late. Whew!
The appointment was strange. There really is no other word for it. The doc took me into his office for a private talk. I think he wanted to make sure that I am doing this of my own free will and not being forced into it. I must have put his fears to rest because we proceeded on.
[I was thinking about why this talk had to happen, and it finally dawned on me that I am ready to do this but others are skeptical. It is not something that someone just decides one day to do. It takes months (even years) of thinking and preparing for it. I am ready but am figuring out that others are not quite ready and need some time to figure it out. I do realize that it is strange and just not normal, but I have always been strange and not quite normal. And I know my okayness with it and my reasons for doing it, so the idea just doesn't phase me anymore. I figure they can take all the time they need, cause I am continuing forward regardless.]
I won't go into detail about the exam. But I will give some highlights cause it was funny. :) Imagine wearing the infamous paper sheet and trying to balance on a small chair with your legs high in the air. Then the doc moves the chair back and up, so everything is up in the air on display. I was lucky enough to have a room full of people reassuring me that I was not on display but they sure were staring. A lot. I was uncomfortable so I did my usual thing, cracked a joke. You have to realize that this doc is older and very serious. He is very good at what he does so he doesn't have to have a bedside manner or sense of humor. I had joked with the nurse as I was undressing that I might pee on the doc because they wouldn't allow me to empty my bladder and I really had to go. She giggled (loved her, by the way) and said it has happened before but she hasn't seen it herself. I couldn't really promise that I would do it but I was thinking about it. Anyway, there he is digging around and checking out everything. I am pretty sure he had that ultrasound wand somewhere up by my tonsils at one point. He then made a comment to the other doc in the room (doing her fellowship in fertility specialty) that she had to come see this. Docs should never say that. Cause it made me super curious. I wasn't sure what to say so I asked if they had found my car keys. The nurse and fellow doc were laughing so hard. The doc just gave a little chuckle and asked if I had put keys in there. I wasn't sure if he was serious or not, so I said no. He told me he was teasing so I got a kick out of that. He does have a sense of humor.
The rest of the exam went well. He did a very thorough (incredibly thorough!!) check, filled my uterus with some saline to look for any problems and then took the tissue sample. It was uncomfortable but didn't hurt. I was pleasantly surprised. He said everything looked great and wanted me to clean up and meet back in his office.
Here comes the funniest part: so the docs leave and it is just me and the nurse in the room. She has layered huge pads (the kind they put on hospital beds for accidents) all over the floor. It seemed odd at first. But then she starts to lower my chair down. And I have to pee and have a uterus full of saline. So I am kegel'd so hard trying to keep this all in. And I am holding it, and holding it, and then suddenly gravity wins. Whoosh! Liquid everywhere! I was so embarassed but the nurse was so nice about it. Apparently it is normal and she was surprised that I held on to it for so long. I don't do my exercises for nothing! Anway, I ran to the bathroom, cleaned up and hurried to the doc's office.
The doc met with the Mom and I. He said everything was excellent or "excelente" in his native Spanish language. I plan to add that to my uterus resume. She is now described as "lovely, perfect/ideal and excelente". Ta-da!
He said everything was good and we could proceed forward. I will admit I didn't understand everything that he said because he has a thick accent. I like to close my eyes and pretend he is a young Antonion Banderas. After him, we met with our Patient Care Coordinator. She is the one I talk to all the time. She went over some paperwork for me and some info for both the Mom and I about scheduling and doing the frozen cycle. I had to start on some meds to make my period show back up again so I can empty out the uterus and get ready for the real cycle. We are basically waiting for this to happen. In the mean time, the Mom and Dad have to go do their stuff. The Mom has to do some of the same meds as me and then go in for her folicle extraction. The Dad has to go through a sterile "good time". Poor guy. I think he has it the worst out of all of us. The Mom and I went to the pharmacy as we left the clinic and picked up the meds I will need when my new cycle starts. Holy Crap!! Let's just say- I came home with a black grocery bag full of vials, meds, needles, etc. I am starting to worry I will have to pick up a Surrogacy for Dummies book to help me figure out how to use them all.
After the visit, we traveled back through Cali traffic (scary!!) and met the Dad for a quick dinner. I was nervous to meet him as well but already felt so reassured that the Mom and I were getting along so well. He was also so warm and accepting. He gave me a big hug and then the Mom and I caught him up on the doctor visit. I got to talk with him for a bit and then it was time to rush to the airport.
The trip back was eventful and I traveled on planes that resembled and were the size of matchbox cars. I did get a great view of the sunset over the ocean and LA at night. I tried to take pics but wasn't supposed to have my phone on. Oops! Maybe next time. I finally got home around 2 am, walked in the door, and fell into bed. It was a long but amazing day!
We are hoping the transfer takes places in early August. It seems best for everyone so I am hoping my body is ready. (Hurry up body!).
More to come! Love you family and friends and new friends!
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