I thought I had all this time to post an update since the last post but it has been busy, busy, busy. So, I am sorry that I have not posted recently but there is super exciting news. The transfer is scheduled for tomorrow. As in we make our way through today, go to bed tonight, and then wake up tomorrow. And the transfer will be in the afternoon. I am excited and this week has gone by so fast!
Since my last post, I haven't had any other doctor appts. My progesterone blood levels were good so they set the transfer for 01-31-13 at 3 pm (Cali time). I started my antibiotics, Prednisone and Progesterone shots on Saturday. The antibiotics are to make sure I don't have any germs going into the transfer and also to prevent me from catching anything during the transfer, when the body is being exposed and manipulated. I wasn't sure about the Prednisone so I did some research on it. It basically causes the body tissue to not become all swollen and inflamed during surgery procedures. I think they want my body to have the chance to accept the transfer as much as possible. My favorite though is the Progesterone shots. They go in my butt. I am not a fan of needles so I was worried how it would go. My amazing friend Rachael offered to give them to me because there is no way I could contort myself to be able to turn around and shoot myself in the butt. I have to say that Rachael has been so good at it. I can hardly feel them when they go in, and she has taken her time when injecting so I haven't had any bruising or lumps. Those seem to be the most common side effects and I have gotten lots of advice on how to deal with them. But I am lucky that I don't have to worry at all. My bum is sore and it helps to sit on a heating pad to sooth them, but I can still function and do my everyday things. And of course I complain a little for some attention. Nothing like telling someone you have a sore bum and then walk away. It leaves them with an eyebrow raised and making all sorts of guesses.
I have my pre-transfer massage scheduled for today at 3 pm. I am feeling really good about it. I went and got a massage a few weeks ago before the first ultrasound to help my body relax and do it's best. The Surro director believes that massage helps relax the body and make it ready for the transfer. So my body will be enjoying 90 minutes of prep today.
I am pretty much already packed. I started about a week ago and have been putting things in and out of my suitcase since then. I already have my scent free things to use during the transfer and bed rest. I have my books and things picked out to keep me company as I spend two days in bed. I am actually looking forward to this because one of my dreams is to lay in bed, read books and have someone fawn over me. So, this is like a dream come true. :) I also have everything situated with the kid and dog. They will be well cared for while I am gone so I won't need to worry or stress about them.
Now I just need to figure out how to stay calm today. I just feel like jumping and yelling out in excitement all day!
I am also glad to get the heck out of Utah. All it has done here for the last week is snow, snow, and snow. I shoveled about 3 or 4 inches off my driveway about a week ago, another couple inches a day or two later, 11 inches (seriously!) yesterday and we currently have more snow falling. I know that shoveling has been a great exercise for me but I am kind of over it now. I have arranged for a neighbor to shovel after my transfer because we are supposed to get another storm Sunday. Oy vey!
I probably won't have time to post again today so I will post tomorrow as everything is happening. Stay with me....
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Monday, January 21, 2013
We are on!
Whatever you guys have been doing is working. So keep it up! The prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes, etc...
My baseline ultrasound was on Tuesday, Jan 8th. It was pretty basic. I have a uterus and a lining. Blah, blah, blah. Nothing too exciting. They said everything looked good and normal so I could continue on meds and see what happened at the follow-up ultrasound, between day 10 to 13. That made it all about the follow-up ultrasound. No pressure or anything. ;) I scheduled the follow-up appt for the next Tuesday (about a week ago now- crazy how time is flying by). I told myself that I would not get stressed or freaked out this time. I took it easy at work and splurged for a massage for myself the day before. The massage was amazing and well worth it. It has been at least a year or so since my last one and it reminded me that I need to splurge for these a bit more often. I also re-started my daily meditation. I was doing it during graduate school but then kind of got busy with other things and just stopped. And, to be honest, did not make it a priority so it got left behind in the dust. But, it was really helpful before and I knew it could help again. I am not doing anything major; just taking time to calm my brain and think about all the positive things happening in my life. Reminding myself that sometimes it is not up to me and I just need to let things happen as they will. Both of these things really helped because I wasn't worried or stressed on the ride down to the Utah fertility clinic. In fact, I was singing along with the radio super loud because no one could hear me and I know I walked in with a smile on my face. I felt really good going into the appt and then.......I had to wait and wait. I will admit that the anxiety started to rise as I was sitting there. I had to take some deep breaths and keep reminding myself to just calm down and accept what ever may happen. The appt went well and she said my lining was at a 8.5. Much better than last time. But I still didn't know what it meant. When I talked with the fertility clinic last time, they said it had to be at least an 8 to proceed but they wanted it closer to a 9 or 10. I texted the IM and left a message for the fertility clinic. Then I went back to work and tried really hard to not think or stress about it. I texted with the IM a bit but it was mostly waiting to see what the dreaded Dr G would have to say.
I got the call from the clinic later that day saying that they got my results and it was a GO! I will admit that it caught me off guard. I was in the middle of something at work and wasn't really focusing 100% on the call. It had to sink in and then I got super excited. I wanted to jump and yell out and hug someone. But I couldn't so I just beamed and was excited on the inside. This was one of those moments that I wished I lived closer to the IPs because then I could have jumped and yelled and been excited with them. Anyway, we have the GO ahead and the transfer has been scheduled for January 31st. I know the IPs wanted it sooner but the lab said they are crazy busy and we have to wait our turn. The IM reminded me that we were supposed to get preferential treatment but apparently the lab forgot. Don't they know who we are?? Just kidding.
So, I am continuing to do 5 estrogen pills a day (going into a place that is a bit awkward sometimes) and will start the progesterone shots this Saturday. My friend has agreed to give them to me because they are kind of hard to give to myself. I guess I could try to give myself a shot in the butt but (ha, ha) it seems kind of hard and I am a wimp. I would rather cringe and close my eyes while someone else gives me the shot. This is another one of those moments when I wished the IPs lived closer so they could give me the shots. Or maybe they are glad they live far away and don't have to. I know I will for sure blog once the shots start cause someone has to listen to me whine about them.
Health-wise I feel great. The first round of meds (when things did not work out) "helped" me gain about 15 pounds. The kind of pounds that just want to stay and never go away. I was able to work hard and lost about 5 of those 15 before this new round of meds started. Now I have no idea where my weight is because I banished the scale to the back of the closet and refuse to get it out. I am exercising almost everyday to keep the blood flow going and still feel good, even if my clothes are getting a bit tight. I am hoping that my body will start to be more normal once the pregnancy happens. I know I could be doing more but don't want to become obsessed about it. And I don't want to be so focused on weight and size when there are more important things to keep in mind; like a safe and healthy place for this baby to grow. I am also trying to be mindful and healthy about my eating choices. I still crave some weird things sometimes but not as bad as when I first started the meds. I think I am getting used to everything.
I do have the estrogen rages still. They make me fluctuate between having lots of energy and want to do lots of cleaning, then I get tired and just want to sit, and then everything makes me cry. I got weepy over the weekend because I cleaned out my closet (again!) and found some more items to reminisce over. I told my friend about the things I found and got weepy all over again. I couldn't even figure out why I was getting weepy because they weren't bad or sad memories; just some old jeans and a sweater from my younger years. I ended up donating them to Goodwill because I have no reason to keep them and my practical side was saying to clean and clean and clean. I know I have to take advantage of this energy because once I get pregnant I will be tired, tired, tired.
Stay tuned to this coming up weekend and I will post about the shots adventure. I may even post a pic of the bruise I know will happen. Have a great week! :)
My baseline ultrasound was on Tuesday, Jan 8th. It was pretty basic. I have a uterus and a lining. Blah, blah, blah. Nothing too exciting. They said everything looked good and normal so I could continue on meds and see what happened at the follow-up ultrasound, between day 10 to 13. That made it all about the follow-up ultrasound. No pressure or anything. ;) I scheduled the follow-up appt for the next Tuesday (about a week ago now- crazy how time is flying by). I told myself that I would not get stressed or freaked out this time. I took it easy at work and splurged for a massage for myself the day before. The massage was amazing and well worth it. It has been at least a year or so since my last one and it reminded me that I need to splurge for these a bit more often. I also re-started my daily meditation. I was doing it during graduate school but then kind of got busy with other things and just stopped. And, to be honest, did not make it a priority so it got left behind in the dust. But, it was really helpful before and I knew it could help again. I am not doing anything major; just taking time to calm my brain and think about all the positive things happening in my life. Reminding myself that sometimes it is not up to me and I just need to let things happen as they will. Both of these things really helped because I wasn't worried or stressed on the ride down to the Utah fertility clinic. In fact, I was singing along with the radio super loud because no one could hear me and I know I walked in with a smile on my face. I felt really good going into the appt and then.......I had to wait and wait. I will admit that the anxiety started to rise as I was sitting there. I had to take some deep breaths and keep reminding myself to just calm down and accept what ever may happen. The appt went well and she said my lining was at a 8.5. Much better than last time. But I still didn't know what it meant. When I talked with the fertility clinic last time, they said it had to be at least an 8 to proceed but they wanted it closer to a 9 or 10. I texted the IM and left a message for the fertility clinic. Then I went back to work and tried really hard to not think or stress about it. I texted with the IM a bit but it was mostly waiting to see what the dreaded Dr G would have to say.
I got the call from the clinic later that day saying that they got my results and it was a GO! I will admit that it caught me off guard. I was in the middle of something at work and wasn't really focusing 100% on the call. It had to sink in and then I got super excited. I wanted to jump and yell out and hug someone. But I couldn't so I just beamed and was excited on the inside. This was one of those moments that I wished I lived closer to the IPs because then I could have jumped and yelled and been excited with them. Anyway, we have the GO ahead and the transfer has been scheduled for January 31st. I know the IPs wanted it sooner but the lab said they are crazy busy and we have to wait our turn. The IM reminded me that we were supposed to get preferential treatment but apparently the lab forgot. Don't they know who we are?? Just kidding.
So, I am continuing to do 5 estrogen pills a day (going into a place that is a bit awkward sometimes) and will start the progesterone shots this Saturday. My friend has agreed to give them to me because they are kind of hard to give to myself. I guess I could try to give myself a shot in the butt but (ha, ha) it seems kind of hard and I am a wimp. I would rather cringe and close my eyes while someone else gives me the shot. This is another one of those moments when I wished the IPs lived closer so they could give me the shots. Or maybe they are glad they live far away and don't have to. I know I will for sure blog once the shots start cause someone has to listen to me whine about them.
Health-wise I feel great. The first round of meds (when things did not work out) "helped" me gain about 15 pounds. The kind of pounds that just want to stay and never go away. I was able to work hard and lost about 5 of those 15 before this new round of meds started. Now I have no idea where my weight is because I banished the scale to the back of the closet and refuse to get it out. I am exercising almost everyday to keep the blood flow going and still feel good, even if my clothes are getting a bit tight. I am hoping that my body will start to be more normal once the pregnancy happens. I know I could be doing more but don't want to become obsessed about it. And I don't want to be so focused on weight and size when there are more important things to keep in mind; like a safe and healthy place for this baby to grow. I am also trying to be mindful and healthy about my eating choices. I still crave some weird things sometimes but not as bad as when I first started the meds. I think I am getting used to everything.
I do have the estrogen rages still. They make me fluctuate between having lots of energy and want to do lots of cleaning, then I get tired and just want to sit, and then everything makes me cry. I got weepy over the weekend because I cleaned out my closet (again!) and found some more items to reminisce over. I told my friend about the things I found and got weepy all over again. I couldn't even figure out why I was getting weepy because they weren't bad or sad memories; just some old jeans and a sweater from my younger years. I ended up donating them to Goodwill because I have no reason to keep them and my practical side was saying to clean and clean and clean. I know I have to take advantage of this energy because once I get pregnant I will be tired, tired, tired.
Stay tuned to this coming up weekend and I will post about the shots adventure. I may even post a pic of the bruise I know will happen. Have a great week! :)
Monday, January 7, 2013
Cross your fingers and toes, say prayers, beg, plead, bargain....
Yep. Time to start another round and wish, hope, beg and plead that all goes well this time. I started meds again on Saturday and have my first baseline ultrasound tomorrow. It won't tell me much but lets all pool our positive energy that this time is THE time. I am super excited and am hoping that all works out this round. And I am sure the IM and IF are feeling the same way. They have sure waited a long time and been through so much.
I don't really have much else to say. I am don't want to jinx anything with a long winded excerpt this time so let's all take this extra time to say a few prayers and send good baby thoughts out into the universe. Keep posted for later updates.....
I don't really have much else to say. I am don't want to jinx anything with a long winded excerpt this time so let's all take this extra time to say a few prayers and send good baby thoughts out into the universe. Keep posted for later updates.....
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
An Old Year Ends and A New One Begins
I thought about posting a final post for 2012 yesterday, but every time I tried to think of what to write I came up against a blank wall. Today, I woke up with all sorts of ideas and things I wanted to say. I took that as a sign to sit down first thing this morning and write this post.
2012 is over. I can't say that I am sad or am looking back thinking it is a year I need to hang on to. There were many amazing memories and great moments, but nothing that I feel like I need to go back and relive or do over. I can honestly say that I leave 2012 behind with no regrets. It was a good year and now it's over.
This year promises to be something so much more, in every way. It is 2013. For the Chinese Zodiac it is the Year of the Snake. This is especially remarkable because that is my sign under the Chinese Zodiac. I take that to mean that this year is my year. Amazing things are going to happen and the world will just click and make sense for me. When this happened 12 years ago (the Chinese Zodiac cycles every 12 years), my son was born. He is the greatest accomplishment of my life so it makes sense to be undertaking this journey and having something as amazing as "creating" new life happening this year. I have a really good feeling for how this experience will go. And I have a really good feeling that it will happen. Finally.
Update on the process: We have basically just been waiting for my next period. It was due to start a few days ago but nothing yet. I did start spotting yesterday so it should be starting at full flow today or maybe even tomorrow. I spoke with the fertility clinic yesterday and confirmed the medication regime to follow once I do start. This time should be a go. So, cross your fingers, think sticky positive thoughts and say those prayers that everything goes right this time. I need my body to cooperate and make a lovely thick lining, and I need the transfer to be successful.
I have been thinking about the past few years of my life and thinking ahead about 2013, and I found there are some things that I want to change. I started making lists of "resolutions" and then saw on Facebook yesterday that an old friend posted she is making "goals" for 2013 and not "resolutions". I like that word "goals" and decided that I am going to do the same. So, I have set some goals for myself for 2013. I feel they are things I can use to guide my life but I won't have to beat myself up or feel regrets if they don't get fully followed or accomplished. And they will all follow one basic idea: to simplify my life. If I don't need it, don't buy it. If it is too hard or causing problems, stop it. If I don't need it, don't eat it. If it makes me feel better or good, do it. If it is someone causing drama, stop being around them. Etc, etc, etc. I feel like this one basic thing can actually have a big impact on my life. And it gives me a good direction and positive vibe to live by. Without getting too complicated or intensive. I shared this idea with some co-workers and friends, and they were excited about the idea. They want to join me in these goals so now I have others to encourage me and keep me on track. And I am happy to help them stay on track, as long as it doesn't get too hard or dramatic. Cause then I will have to avoid them. lol
I was worried about how this New Year was going to start but I feel like today is actually off to a good start. I spent time with some good friends last night. It was the perfect night because we just stayed home and spent time together, watching some movies and sharing some yummy snacks. The kids played together and everyone got along. No worries about driving, going anywhere, getting dressed up, etc. It was a nice way to start off this new year of living simply. When I got home last night, I walked in to find that the dog had pooped on the floor. I was not happy and quickly lost my happy and relaxed feeling. As I was cleaning it up, I started to worry that it was a bad omen to start off the New Year. I worried it meant the year was going to be "shitty". Literally. I worried about it a little and then thought I just needed to go to bed and get some rest, and consider things in the morning. Now, I feel good. Today is going to be good and this year is going to be good. I know that I will keep that feeling going well into this new year.
Happy New Years to you all!! Make some positive goals for yourself and remember to live simply. :)
2012 is over. I can't say that I am sad or am looking back thinking it is a year I need to hang on to. There were many amazing memories and great moments, but nothing that I feel like I need to go back and relive or do over. I can honestly say that I leave 2012 behind with no regrets. It was a good year and now it's over.
This year promises to be something so much more, in every way. It is 2013. For the Chinese Zodiac it is the Year of the Snake. This is especially remarkable because that is my sign under the Chinese Zodiac. I take that to mean that this year is my year. Amazing things are going to happen and the world will just click and make sense for me. When this happened 12 years ago (the Chinese Zodiac cycles every 12 years), my son was born. He is the greatest accomplishment of my life so it makes sense to be undertaking this journey and having something as amazing as "creating" new life happening this year. I have a really good feeling for how this experience will go. And I have a really good feeling that it will happen. Finally.
Update on the process: We have basically just been waiting for my next period. It was due to start a few days ago but nothing yet. I did start spotting yesterday so it should be starting at full flow today or maybe even tomorrow. I spoke with the fertility clinic yesterday and confirmed the medication regime to follow once I do start. This time should be a go. So, cross your fingers, think sticky positive thoughts and say those prayers that everything goes right this time. I need my body to cooperate and make a lovely thick lining, and I need the transfer to be successful.
I have been thinking about the past few years of my life and thinking ahead about 2013, and I found there are some things that I want to change. I started making lists of "resolutions" and then saw on Facebook yesterday that an old friend posted she is making "goals" for 2013 and not "resolutions". I like that word "goals" and decided that I am going to do the same. So, I have set some goals for myself for 2013. I feel they are things I can use to guide my life but I won't have to beat myself up or feel regrets if they don't get fully followed or accomplished. And they will all follow one basic idea: to simplify my life. If I don't need it, don't buy it. If it is too hard or causing problems, stop it. If I don't need it, don't eat it. If it makes me feel better or good, do it. If it is someone causing drama, stop being around them. Etc, etc, etc. I feel like this one basic thing can actually have a big impact on my life. And it gives me a good direction and positive vibe to live by. Without getting too complicated or intensive. I shared this idea with some co-workers and friends, and they were excited about the idea. They want to join me in these goals so now I have others to encourage me and keep me on track. And I am happy to help them stay on track, as long as it doesn't get too hard or dramatic. Cause then I will have to avoid them. lol
I was worried about how this New Year was going to start but I feel like today is actually off to a good start. I spent time with some good friends last night. It was the perfect night because we just stayed home and spent time together, watching some movies and sharing some yummy snacks. The kids played together and everyone got along. No worries about driving, going anywhere, getting dressed up, etc. It was a nice way to start off this new year of living simply. When I got home last night, I walked in to find that the dog had pooped on the floor. I was not happy and quickly lost my happy and relaxed feeling. As I was cleaning it up, I started to worry that it was a bad omen to start off the New Year. I worried it meant the year was going to be "shitty". Literally. I worried about it a little and then thought I just needed to go to bed and get some rest, and consider things in the morning. Now, I feel good. Today is going to be good and this year is going to be good. I know that I will keep that feeling going well into this new year.
Happy New Years to you all!! Make some positive goals for yourself and remember to live simply. :)
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