We are on!

Whatever you guys have been doing is working.  So keep it up!  The prayers, positive thoughts, good vibes, etc...
My baseline ultrasound was on Tuesday, Jan 8th.  It was pretty basic.  I have a uterus and a lining. Blah, blah, blah.  Nothing too exciting.  They said everything looked good and normal so I could continue on meds and see what happened at the follow-up ultrasound, between day 10 to 13.  That made it all about the follow-up ultrasound.  No pressure or anything. ;)  I scheduled the follow-up appt for the next Tuesday (about a week ago now- crazy how time is flying by).  I told myself that I would not get stressed or freaked out this time.  I took it easy at work and splurged for a massage for myself the day before.  The massage was amazing and well worth it.  It has been at least a year or so since my last one and it reminded me that I need to splurge for these a bit more often.  I also re-started my daily meditation.  I was doing it during graduate school but then kind of got busy with other things and just stopped.  And, to be honest, did not make it a priority so it got left behind in the dust.  But, it was really helpful before and I knew it could help again.  I am not doing anything major; just taking time to calm my brain and think about all the positive things happening in my life.  Reminding myself that sometimes it is not up to me and I just need to let things happen as they will.  Both of these things really helped because I wasn't worried or stressed on the ride down to the Utah fertility clinic.  In fact, I was singing along with the radio super loud because no one could hear me and I know I walked in with a smile on my face.  I felt really good going into the appt and then.......I had to wait and wait.  I will admit that the anxiety started to rise as I was sitting there.  I had to take some deep breaths and keep reminding myself to just calm down and accept what ever may happen.  The appt went well and she said my lining was at a 8.5.  Much better than last time.  But I still didn't know what it meant.  When I talked with the fertility clinic last time, they said it had to be at least an 8 to proceed but they wanted it closer to a 9 or 10.  I texted the IM and left a message for the fertility clinic.  Then I went back to work and tried really hard to not think or stress about it.  I texted with the IM a bit but it was mostly waiting to see what the dreaded Dr G would have to say.
I got the call from the clinic later that day saying that they got my results and it was a GO!  I will admit that it caught me off guard.  I was in the middle of something at work and wasn't really focusing 100% on the call.  It had to sink in and then I got super excited.  I wanted to jump and yell out and hug someone.  But I couldn't so I just beamed and was excited on the inside.  This was one of those moments that I wished I lived closer to the IPs because then I could have jumped and yelled and been excited with them.  Anyway, we have the GO ahead and the transfer has been scheduled for January 31st.  I know the IPs wanted it sooner but the lab said they are crazy busy and we have to wait our turn.  The IM reminded me that we were supposed to get preferential treatment but apparently the lab forgot.  Don't they know who we are??  Just kidding.
So, I am continuing to do 5 estrogen pills a day (going into a place that is a bit awkward sometimes) and will start the progesterone shots this Saturday.  My friend has agreed to give them to me because they are kind of hard to give to myself.  I guess I could try to give myself a shot in the butt but (ha, ha) it seems kind of hard and I am a wimp.  I would rather cringe and close my eyes while someone else gives me the shot.  This is another one of those moments when I wished the IPs lived closer so they could give me the shots.  Or maybe they are glad they live far away and don't have to.  I know I will for sure blog once the shots start cause someone has to listen to me whine about them.
Health-wise I feel great.  The first round of meds (when  things did not work out) "helped" me gain about 15 pounds.  The kind of pounds that just want to stay and never go away.  I was able to work hard and lost about 5 of those 15 before this new round of meds started.  Now I have no idea where my weight is because I banished the scale to the back of the closet and refuse to get it out.  I am exercising almost everyday to keep the blood flow going and still feel good, even if my clothes are getting a bit tight.  I am hoping that my body will start to be more normal once the pregnancy happens.  I know I could be doing more but don't want to become obsessed about it.  And I don't want to be so focused on weight and size when there are more important things to keep in mind; like a safe and healthy place for this baby to grow.  I am also trying to be mindful and healthy about my eating choices.  I still crave some weird things sometimes but not as bad as when I first started the meds.  I think I am getting used to everything.
I do have the estrogen rages still.  They make me fluctuate between having lots of energy and want to do lots of cleaning, then I get tired and just want to sit, and then everything makes me cry.  I got weepy over the weekend because I cleaned out my closet (again!) and found some more items to reminisce over.  I told my friend about the things I found and got weepy all over again.  I couldn't even figure out why I was getting weepy because they weren't bad or sad memories; just some old jeans and a sweater from my younger years.  I ended up donating them to Goodwill because I have no reason to keep them and my practical side was saying to clean and clean and clean.  I know I have to take advantage of this energy because once I get pregnant I will be tired, tired, tired.
Stay tuned to this coming up weekend and I will post about the shots adventure.  I may even post a pic of the bruise I know will happen.  Have a great week! :)