The past week has flown by and it was a great week. I got so much done at work and home, it feels like last week was a major success. It also makes me feel like I am successful when things go well and I get lots of stuff done. I like having both myself and the situation be a success! Like the universe and I are in sinc with each other.
There is not much to report on the surro front. We are just waiting for the Intended Mommy to start ovulating so she can start on her meds and plan for the next follicle extraction. Pretty much doing the waiting game. Everyone please be sure to send your prayers and positive thoughts to her ovaries. Especially from the readers in other countries. It just seems like extra special luck to have strangers pulling for you. ;)
The contract is just about done. All the revisions have been sent in. We are just waiting for the attorney to make the changes and then arrange for the signatures. I have been seeing other surros struggle with their contracts and getting them finalized. Most of them have at least 3 drafts but some have gone through 5 to 7+. I am grateful that I am working with some very reasonable Intended Parents, and I also want to be reasonable with them. It would be easy to nitpick and argue every little detail, but I keep in mind that this is their baby and they get to have some say into what I put into and do with my body. I made the decision to basically rent out my womb so I knew there would be special considerations. I think some surros are too hung up on the idea that it is their body and they want to fight everything. I am fine with the things that I have been asked of me and almost am glad cause it forces me to be healthy. I have also found that my level of education and being in the social work/therapy field has opened my mind to considering new ideas and considering the thoughts and needs of others. I know that I am more willing to work things out and keep in mind the needs and wants of the IPs while working all the details out. I also believe that I have been matched with the family that is perfect for me, and I am perfect for them. That helps a lot.
With the considerations in mind, I started my new diet this week. Technically speaking I don't have to until I am pregnant but I figure I might as well start now and get used to it. I had my last McDonalds cheeseburger on Friday and said my farewell to fast food. I will miss that delicious flavor that can only be had at a greasy fast food place but know that I can make my own at home whenever I want. I also know it will be more healthy. I went grocery shopping on Saturday and only bought healthy food and snacks, the ones allowed on the diet. I also bought organic fruit and lucked out that the local grocery had marked everthing down to move it fast. I did tons of cooking yesterday so my meals are basically ready for the week and just need to be heated up or finished. I also brought healthy snacks to work so I am less tempted to run to 7-11 for a naughty snack. I stepped up my exercise game and am speed walking/jogging almost every day. My neighbor wants to tone up for her wedding in a few weeks so we are motivating each other. We take a spin around the neighborhood in the evenings and do about 2 to 2.5 miles a day. And I have been cheating on her and venturing out on my own a few extra times. I am excited about how it is making me feel and hope it also helps me lose some weight before the meds and drastic weight gain happens in October.
On a personal note:
The first week (3 whole days) of 5th grade went well. He did not want to start school but has now decided he likes his class and teacher. He is still on this trip about being a big kid and doing things for himself. I am happy to support it but kinda question how long he will keep it up. Who knows. But it is fun to watch him get older and more wise everyday.
Everything else in the personal life is about the same. Still working, playing Mom, keeping busy, etc. Nothing has changed or appears about to change. And I like it. Lets me know what to expect every day. :)
Monday, August 27, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
A Mommy Moment
I keep forgetting that this blog is not only about my experience with the surrogacy but is also about my crazy and chaotic life. My way of documenting my own experiences and how everything that happens impacts me and those around me. So today's post is a tribute to my kiddo and the mommy moments I have.
Today was the 1st day of school. 5th grade. That seems like the big times to me. No more little kid assignments, homework, reading, etc. We have moved on to book reports, writing papers, major math stuff, big chapter books and big kid expectations. No more clinging to mom and acting goofy. He wants to be "grown up" and not be embarrassed. I think he was insinuating I am embarrassing but I blame him for the stuff he does to himself. Like singing and dancing in the halls at Back-to-School night last night. Anway, the morning went well and there were no tears by either of us. And I did not do anything embarassing. I was limited to only 5 photos and I stayed within my limit (that he knows of). I was allowed to walk in and help him put the heavy backpack on his desk and then had to quietly leave. I followed the rules and even got a quick kiss in before heading to the lunch room to pay for lunches. I was worried that I would be the only parent in the classroom but noticed several others shuffling in the room or waiting at the door. It was funny to see the other parents that walked their kids in and realize that we are all trying to hold on to the tiny bits of childhood that our kids have left. One mom was teary eyed and I was proud I overcame and avoided any tears. But it is sad to realize they grow up so fast and need us less and less. Within the next year or two, he won't want me to walk in with him or even step foot onto the school grounds. I plan to enjoy whatever I can from this year!
The summer was a blast but went by too quickly. We got some good pool days in, spent time with my parents when they came out to visit, were lazy around the house and stayed up late almost every night. The kiddo did some biking while I walked (sometimes with the dog and sometimes without). We watched movies, played video games and board games, and did lots of talking. The kiddo decided over the summer that it is time for him to learn to drive and figure out directions. I caught him sitting in the driver seat of the car a few times. Luckily he did not have keys or try to start it, but was looking at all the buttons and knobs and asking what each thing does. I helped him start and turn off the car a few times, and let him try the pedals a bit. Whenever we went anywhere, he wanted to know directions and landmarks so he can find his way around when he is driving. I reassured him that we still have about 5 years before that happens, but he is insistent he knows about it now. I thought it was cute, something a little kid would do, but now I am realizing that this is part of him growing up. He is not just mimicing, but wanting to learn so he can do it on his own one day. Like being able to get his own dishes and snacks out, putting things away after himself, and not needing supervision when he is doing hygiene stuff. It makes me sad that he doesn't need me as much but also so exciting to watch him grow into a little man that can take care of himself. ~sigh~ The woes of being a parent and reaching the point that you are parenting a mini-adult instead of a child. It went by way too fast. I don't have any regrets about the past but definitely am making a list of things I want to do with him before he is an adult and moves out. Sort of like a bucket list of things he and I can do together. I have been asking him and his ideas are pretty lofty but I will put them on the list anyway. Maybe I will post the list on here once it is done. :)
Today was the 1st day of school. 5th grade. That seems like the big times to me. No more little kid assignments, homework, reading, etc. We have moved on to book reports, writing papers, major math stuff, big chapter books and big kid expectations. No more clinging to mom and acting goofy. He wants to be "grown up" and not be embarrassed. I think he was insinuating I am embarrassing but I blame him for the stuff he does to himself. Like singing and dancing in the halls at Back-to-School night last night. Anway, the morning went well and there were no tears by either of us. And I did not do anything embarassing. I was limited to only 5 photos and I stayed within my limit (that he knows of). I was allowed to walk in and help him put the heavy backpack on his desk and then had to quietly leave. I followed the rules and even got a quick kiss in before heading to the lunch room to pay for lunches. I was worried that I would be the only parent in the classroom but noticed several others shuffling in the room or waiting at the door. It was funny to see the other parents that walked their kids in and realize that we are all trying to hold on to the tiny bits of childhood that our kids have left. One mom was teary eyed and I was proud I overcame and avoided any tears. But it is sad to realize they grow up so fast and need us less and less. Within the next year or two, he won't want me to walk in with him or even step foot onto the school grounds. I plan to enjoy whatever I can from this year!
The summer was a blast but went by too quickly. We got some good pool days in, spent time with my parents when they came out to visit, were lazy around the house and stayed up late almost every night. The kiddo did some biking while I walked (sometimes with the dog and sometimes without). We watched movies, played video games and board games, and did lots of talking. The kiddo decided over the summer that it is time for him to learn to drive and figure out directions. I caught him sitting in the driver seat of the car a few times. Luckily he did not have keys or try to start it, but was looking at all the buttons and knobs and asking what each thing does. I helped him start and turn off the car a few times, and let him try the pedals a bit. Whenever we went anywhere, he wanted to know directions and landmarks so he can find his way around when he is driving. I reassured him that we still have about 5 years before that happens, but he is insistent he knows about it now. I thought it was cute, something a little kid would do, but now I am realizing that this is part of him growing up. He is not just mimicing, but wanting to learn so he can do it on his own one day. Like being able to get his own dishes and snacks out, putting things away after himself, and not needing supervision when he is doing hygiene stuff. It makes me sad that he doesn't need me as much but also so exciting to watch him grow into a little man that can take care of himself. ~sigh~ The woes of being a parent and reaching the point that you are parenting a mini-adult instead of a child. It went by way too fast. I don't have any regrets about the past but definitely am making a list of things I want to do with him before he is an adult and moves out. Sort of like a bucket list of things he and I can do together. I have been asking him and his ideas are pretty lofty but I will put them on the list anyway. Maybe I will post the list on here once it is done. :)
Thursday, August 16, 2012
BTW- we are International
I don't know who or how but I have followers from Russia, Germany, United Kingdom, etc. Welcome!! I am excited to see you here. :)
Oh, how the weeks fly by......
It is not that I am forgetting or slacking off, but rather that the past couple of weeks have been so busy. I know that is not an excuse so I will try to be more dedicated. And I am hoping that things slow down a bit so I have more time for the things I enjoy, like Facebook and blogging. Work, whew.
Since we spoke last (giggle, giggle- you don't speak back and are stuck listening to my ramblings), a couple things have happened but I warn you they are not happy things. Close this out if you can't bear sad news. :(
Everything in the process was going well. The IM went in for her follicle extraction and they were able to extract a good handful of eggs. They then did the fertilization and ended up with 5 embryos in various stages of rating. The IPs and I were very hopeful, and I think I was a bit naive to expect that if 5 fertilized then 5 would be available for transfer. I wasn't really thinking that maybe the 5 wouldn't survive. Anyway, the embryos continued to day 3 and were still around. The decision was made to keep them growing so they were taken to 5 days. On day 5, only one had survived and it was rated as "fair". By then my period had started so I had happily applied the patches and started my part of the journey. I made calls, texted and updated those that are in the need to know group. (And weird that I was looking forward to another period. ick). On day 2 of my cycle, the decision was made by the IPs and fertility doc to stop the process and do another follicle extraction. I know it was not an easy decision to make for anyone involved. I will admit that I was heartbroken and disappointed. I think I had just gotten too excited for everything to happen and should have realized it was all working out too well. I can only imagine how hard it was on the IPs because this is their baby and future.
Now that I have had time to reflect, I know that it was the right decision. It would have been foolish to go forward with a transfer with only one embryo. The numbers and odds are just against it. I think it will work out better to do another cycle and get more and maybe even better embryos. If that doesn't work, then we can fall back on the one embryo that is currently frozen. Those are my thoughts.
Since that decision, I obviously stopped the patches and have now finished my period. It was another yucky and long one, so I am looking forward to being pregnant and not needing to worry about it. I also found that doing the estrogen patches for three days and abruptly stopping was a weird experience. I couldn't decide if I wanted to cry sometimes or just zone out a bit. It is a very weird feeling, like being stuck in a twisted emotional limbo.
Now I am just waiting for another period or two to start my part of the journey. That gives the IM plenty of time to get her testing and meds done, and have the follicle extraction go well. Then they can create the babies and look at the numbers and quality before I have to start meds again. I know that this time it will work out better and we will be set to go by October. Which is great because October is my favorite month. :)
Since we spoke last (giggle, giggle- you don't speak back and are stuck listening to my ramblings), a couple things have happened but I warn you they are not happy things. Close this out if you can't bear sad news. :(
Everything in the process was going well. The IM went in for her follicle extraction and they were able to extract a good handful of eggs. They then did the fertilization and ended up with 5 embryos in various stages of rating. The IPs and I were very hopeful, and I think I was a bit naive to expect that if 5 fertilized then 5 would be available for transfer. I wasn't really thinking that maybe the 5 wouldn't survive. Anyway, the embryos continued to day 3 and were still around. The decision was made to keep them growing so they were taken to 5 days. On day 5, only one had survived and it was rated as "fair". By then my period had started so I had happily applied the patches and started my part of the journey. I made calls, texted and updated those that are in the need to know group. (And weird that I was looking forward to another period. ick). On day 2 of my cycle, the decision was made by the IPs and fertility doc to stop the process and do another follicle extraction. I know it was not an easy decision to make for anyone involved. I will admit that I was heartbroken and disappointed. I think I had just gotten too excited for everything to happen and should have realized it was all working out too well. I can only imagine how hard it was on the IPs because this is their baby and future.
Now that I have had time to reflect, I know that it was the right decision. It would have been foolish to go forward with a transfer with only one embryo. The numbers and odds are just against it. I think it will work out better to do another cycle and get more and maybe even better embryos. If that doesn't work, then we can fall back on the one embryo that is currently frozen. Those are my thoughts.
Since that decision, I obviously stopped the patches and have now finished my period. It was another yucky and long one, so I am looking forward to being pregnant and not needing to worry about it. I also found that doing the estrogen patches for three days and abruptly stopping was a weird experience. I couldn't decide if I wanted to cry sometimes or just zone out a bit. It is a very weird feeling, like being stuck in a twisted emotional limbo.
Now I am just waiting for another period or two to start my part of the journey. That gives the IM plenty of time to get her testing and meds done, and have the follicle extraction go well. Then they can create the babies and look at the numbers and quality before I have to start meds again. I know that this time it will work out better and we will be set to go by October. Which is great because October is my favorite month. :)
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