Ok. Pissy ranting warning. I was super excited and then all my hopes and dreams were dashed. Not really all my hopes and dreams but it kinda feels like it. It just sucks when you have something planned out so well and then "someone" (AKA the doc) puts a stop to those plans. I know it is for a good reason but that doesn't make it feel any better. But let me explain since my last post:
I haven't posted in a long time because nothing was really happening. After the majority of the embryos did not survive there wasn't much for me to do. Just continue on with life as usual and wait for the call that things were progressing. It kind of felt like I was in a holding pattern. The IM (intended mom) started a new round of meds to prepare for another extraction, and from what I understand it has gone pretty well. She has still been feeling sick and tired, but I think this round has gone better and will produce better results. Her follicle extraction is actually scheduled for tomorrow. Cross your fingers that she has lots of healthy, juicy eggs that are so ready to be impregnated!
Me, I have just been going about my business. Nothing too exciting; dieting, exercising, getting the body ready. I was able to give up caffeine completely. I felt like I was going to die some days but it actually was pretty easy and I feel good now. I still crave a nice hot cup of coffee every now and then, especially with these cold mornings we have been getting. (I love Fall!) I also printed off the food limitation list and have it hanging at home. I figured I might as well get used to the restrictions before the transfer so it wouldn't be so hard after the transfer. I was worried but it has been a lot easier than I thought. I don't really care about the no fast food or most of the other stuff. My hardest part will be not being able to have nuts that third trimester. I love nuts. Maybe I am part squirell or was a squirrel in my past life.... Anyway, nothing too crazy happening. I lost a few pounds from this dieting and exercising, and was really loving that. While all this was going on, I was hoping for an October transfer date just because I was this thing to happen already and October is such a great month. For a while I worried it would be more like November or even December.
Then I heard from the IM a few weeks ago that she wanted to try for the transfer this month. I was so excited!! October is a magical month and it made me think "this is it, this is the perfect time." She talked to me just a few days before my period was due to start so it was perfect timing. Of course my period did not show up when it was supposed to, but it started on the 1st. Which I like because it is much easier to track my days. :) October 1st became "patch day" and I put on those good old patches and away we went. I started with the 4 patches but after a few days the doc moved me up to 6. I haven't really noticed a big difference; I feel about the same as last time. I go through these weird moods of wanting clean and organize everything (my "nesting phase"), then I want to cry over every little thing like commercials or seeing moms with new babies but it's weird because I don't cry about things I should really cry about (my "whiny baby phase") and then I get these weird mood swings of wanting to either run a marathon while carrying an elephant or start boxing it out with someone. I haven't noticed that I am bitchier than usual and no one has made any comments about me being weird so I guess I am only showing symptoms on the inside. I actually like the energy the estrogen patches give me and don't mind taking them.
The new plan became that I would travel out there and do a transfer on the 25th or 26th. Which I love because my sister's bday is the 25th. This transfer would be a frozen one and they could see how many ebryos decide to still around this time. And it is around a weekend so that makes it easier for everyone involved to take some time off.
Then I get a call from the fertility clinic Tuesday night (just a couple days ago). I guess the Doc was looking at the calendar and realized that we were very close to being able to do a fresh transfer. That meant the transfer date was pushed up to the 16th. I will admit I was kind of in shock when they said that. I started panicking, like am I ready to be knocked up already? Shouldn't be take some time? The shocked feeling only lasted a few minutes and then I was super excited. Like jump up and down and make squealing noises excited! It became very real and I was completely in to making this happen. It came down to how my lining would look for my ultrasound on Wednesday. I didn't even think that would be an issue because I feel like my insides are one thick lining. I started crossing my fingers that it would be the much needed 8.0.
So, Wednesday (yesterday) came and I went to my ultrasound appt. The tech was asking a bunch of questions and seemed really confused about how we could just change plans. I don't know what she was bugging about cause it has nothing to do with them. Anyway, she gave me the news that my lining was measuring 7.6 to 7.9. For the Utah clinic that is the sign to go ahead. I left a message for the Cali clinic that it was lower than expected but still was hopeful they would say to go ahead.
Now the reason for my disappointment: I got a call back from the Cali clinic that the Doc wants my lining to be bigger (like close to 9) before I start the progesterone shots. So, we are back to the original plan of doing a frozen transfer on the 26th. I was really disappointed at first. I felt like things were happening and we were moving forward and it was going to be so soon, and then my stupid uterus goes and messes it all up. :( I was frustrated, pissy and kinda sad. I felt like it was my fault that we couldn't move foward next week.
But I thought about it last night and finally came to the conclusion that the 26th is the better day. The 16th was rushing it and I don't know that I was ready. I was also stressing about being gone for my kiddo's bday. I feel like I should at least be home with him and then celebrate it next weekend, as we planned. And it gives me more time to get my cases at work settled and ready to do without me for a few days.
So, I was super disappointed and pissy but I feel much better now. It was meant to happen on the 26th and I am okay with that. And I plan to blame the estrogen for the pissy moment. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment