I did get to spend some time with the Intended Parents and it was really nice. The more I get to know them, the more I fall in love with them. They are such amazing people and are so ready to be parents. I feel for them and am so hopeful that the transfer works this time. I know it will be devastating for both them and me if something happens and it doesn't work. But I don't like to think about that. I am choosing to stay and think positive until we know one way or the other.
Bed rest went by way too quickly and it was back to regular life. I went back to work the next day and have been pretty much normal, other than the reduced physical activity. I have been craving the gym and am excited to be able to go back once I get the clearance from the fertility doc. For now I have to content myself with walking the dog, James. The "walks" are more like a slow meandering around the block. It is such a short distance but seems to take us forever. There are just so many things to sniff at, dig in, and pee on. (James does these things, not me. I promise.) I find that I take about 4 to 5 steps and then have to stop as James checks everything out. I used to get frustrated and impatient about it but now it is good for me because it reminds me to take it slow and not push it.
I didn't notice any major symptoms or things to be aware of this time. I had the crazy dreams a few times, lots of nights with leg cramps, but that was about all. No heart burn, no nausea, no extreme tiredness. I worried that maybe it didn't take so I ended up taking a home pregnancy test about a week after the transfer. My fellow surros had been bugging me to take one but I didn't feel the urge like I did last time. I think I am more calm this time and just accepting what may happen. I did finally break down and take one. I was kind of scared at first because the control window filled in nice and dark, but the pregnant/non-pregnant window took a long time. It was probably a full minute before the little plus actually appeared. I read and reread the instructions a few times just to make sure. It was the same result- pregnant! I worried that maybe the test was broken because the result was faded. I texted the IPs and sent them a pic, and then asked a fellow surro. She reassured me that pregnant is pregnant, faded or not. I will admit I did not get super excited this time. I was excited but I also remembered that this happened last time and it ended up not working out. I guess I did not want to get my heart set on it again when there was still no guarantee. I know the IPs are feeling confident that the "one who is not like any others" will be a sure thing but I still didn't know whether to invest my heart into it or not. Sorry it that seems harsh but it's true. So, I was excited for a few minutes and then went back to life as normal. I didn't tell many people about it because I don't want to have to explain everything all over again. I am keeping the circle quite small this time.
I guess I should explain about the "one who is not like any others." The IM did an initial follicle extraction. She was very sick and did not respond well to the meds. She ended up with only a few eggs that were extracted and they were only able to create one embryo that lived and was viable. The embryo did not rate high at the time so the fertility clinic recommended they freeze it and continue with another extraction. They were able to get 4 embryos from that process. We transferred the two strongest last time and they did not work out. We ended up transferring the three remaining embryos this time, with the hopes that at least one of them would work. We are all trying to be positive about the "one" being the embryo that will defy all the odds and actually stick this time. After the thawing process, it was rated a BBC. The embryologist felt positive about it and said it has a great chance of making it. BTW- the embryologist was great this time and did not pause for dramatic effect or give any of us a heartattack. It was a different one and she simply said that all three "survived" and were ready. One of them was smaller than the others and the two rated less than the "one" but she explained they all have a chance of working. I guess we will have to wait and see.
The next step after the home pregnancy test was to take the actual blood test to check the beta (HcG) levels. I went to my OBs office and did the test right away Friday morning. I will admit I got a little teary eyed as I waited but was trying to stay positive and think happy thoughts. My doc was out of the office doing surgeries but they told me she would call me later to give me the results. It was such a hard day having to wait for news!! I finally heard back from the fertility clinic. The nurse was so excited and screamed "You are pregnant!" when I picked up the phone. She said my initial beta was 212 and they thought the number was "great" and did not feel I needed to repeat it. She told me to set up my initial 6 week ultrasound at the end of the month and I was officially 4 weeks and 2 days on Friday. She had already called the IPs to give them the news. The IM texted me as I was on the phone with her. The nurse seemed to excited and confident that it made me feel the same way. It felt like it was really happening this time.
My OB ended up calling me the next day (on a Saturday!). She said the number was within the normal range but she wanted to avoid any heartache because of what happened last time. She asked me to come back on Monday to repeat the beta. They had also forgotten to test my estrogen and needed me to do that anyway. I will admit I kinda worried over the weekend. My OB can sometimes be very serious and hard to read. I wasn't sure if I should be worried or not. I went back on Monday and repeated the blood draw. The nurse called me in the afternoon and told me my progesterone level had come back "really high" at 66.9. She said this was either because of all the meds they have me on or because it was a multiple pregnancy. She didn't have the beta level but agreed to call me back with it. Of course she left me stressing for a while. When she finally called back, it was with good news. My beta had not doubled, like my OB wanted. It had tripled! It was now 680!! I called the fertility clinic and they said to continue on with the same amount of meds and wait for confirmation for the ultrasound. I made my appt for Thursday, August 29th at 11 am. I am honestly waiting on pins and needles until then!
The meds are going pretty good this time. I ended up having a reaction to the estrogen and got very itchy (down there). I looked it up online and it said it can result from many things but is often early sign of pregnancy. Nothing to worry about but obviously very uncomfortable. My OB gave me a prescription for a pill that helps balance out the chemicals since I needed to continue the estrogen. The itching has finally gone away (sweet relief!). I have also noticed my body is starting to fight the progesterone injections. The knots are back and they are big and tough this time. We are getting creative with the injection shots and having to move them around a bit. If we try to use the same spot, the progesterone is hard to inject and will actually leak out a little. I had to give myself the shots for three days while my neighbor was gone (God bless her for giving them to me!!). It was a very odd experience. It went well the first two times. Of course I freaked myself out about the needle and finally had to just stab myself. I missed a couple times and ended up doing a "few" injections per shot. My butt looked like it was attacked my mini mosquito bites for a few days. Once the needle was in, it was easy going. The third day did not go well. I finally got the needle in but it met with resistance. I didn't get blood when I drew the plunger out, so I knew it wasn't a blood vessel or bone. It was just a tough spot. I didn't want to try and stick myself again so I just went for it. It took a lot of pushing but I finally got all the progesterone in. When I pulled the needle out, it leaked a little and there was some blood. I got really queasy and ended up crawling out of the bathroom on my hands and knees. I was very grateful it was the last night because I did not want to go through that again. I will let my neighbor handle the next few weeks. She is much better and stronger at it than I am. I am way too squeamish. Blech!
I have actually been feeling pretty good. I did get a few minutes of heartburn today and was tired in the afternoon. I was glad I only worked a half day because I took a nap and it was wonderful. Most of the time my energy is normal. I was worried about being tired all the time because I am not having any caffeine, but it has been easier than I thought. I have noticed I have been eating a lot of bananas and veggies, and they seem to provide me with natural energy. I guess those health nuts do know what they are talking about! lol
I titled the post 5 weeks because I am officially 5 weeks today. My IM texted me that the heart is still being formed but starts cardio contractions today. Basically the first heart beats. I celebrated by posting random heartbeat quotes and lines from songs all day. It's really exciting.
There are more things to update but I am tired and will do it another night. Think positive and hope for at least one heart beat on the 29th!!
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